


Lost Your Damn Mind

by jumble_of_fandoms



Series: 30 Ficlet Prompts [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 02:23:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4811333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumble_of_fandoms/pseuds/jumble_of_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas wants to hunt but the brothers are cautious about it...</p><p>2/30 Ficlet Prompt Challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Your Damn Mind

"Have you lost your damn _mind_!?”

“What, so _you_ can go hunt, but I’m too weak to do so anymore?”

“You know it ain’t like that!”

“Then tell me Dean, what is it like, because it sure as hell feels like _it’s because of that!_ ”

Dean throws his hands up, turning around and walking out of the room.

“Where do you think you’re going!” Cas yells after him.

“For a _fucking_ drive!” Dean yells back. “Some place where I don’t have to be bitched at to death!”

Dean slams the door to the garage behind him, immediately regretting that last statement, but his pride keeps him from turning around and admitting it. Stalking over to the Impala, he fishes in his pockets for his keys before remembering he left them on the counter in the kitchen. Kicking a nearby bucket of god knows what, he spots one of the few modern-era motorcycles in the garage and grabs a helmet off a nearby shelf.

Ten minutes later, he is roaring down the highway leading away from the town the bunker is near. AC/DC blaring through the speakers in the helmet, Dean tries to not think about the fight he and Cas have been having all day, but his thoughts soon drift back to it.

Sam had found them a hunt, and not an easy one. There had been attacks in a nearby town, and all signs pointed to a werewolf. The werewolf, or wolves as Dean thought (too much damage in too short a time span), would be a hard hunt no matter what. Sam was still worrying about Dean and watching him too carefully. Dean himself was back to being fully human with no trace of the Mark left – almost – and Cas… Well…

Dean shakes his head, trying not to focus too intently on Cas. He has yet to tell either Sam or Cas how worried he really is about the former angel, let alone admit it to himself. Not only did Cas not have his own Grace, he had no Grace, and if what Dean has been hearing is true, he never will again. Cas is permanently…

“Human,” Dean whispers the word, disgust and anger coursing through every letter. It wasn’t Cas’s fault he is now human; he had only been trying to do what he always did: Save Dean. And while Cas had finally broken free from his depression, Dean still blames himself. If he had never taken the Mark, Cas would still be able to get his Grace back…

“Fuck!” Dean yells, slamming on the brakes as he pulls the bike to the side of the road. Ripping off his helmet, he chucks it farther down the shoulder, before angrily wiping at his eyes…

“I don’t want Cas to go on the hunt,” Dean said to Sam only a few hours before.

“Any reason for that or are you just going to leave it there?” Sam asked, eyebrows raised.

“Dammit, you know why…” Grumbling, Dean paced next to the table in the library.

Sam sighed, leaning back in his chair. “You can’t keep him away from the real world forever. There are still things out there searching for him-”

“Exactly!” Dean bellowed, ignoring Sam’s shocked expression. “Shit out there wants to kill him, so we’re keeping him somewhere it can’t get him!”

“Dean,” Sam replied softly. “You know how much he likes the outdoors, the real world. Plus, the best way to keep him safe is to teach him how to protect himself once he does go outside those doors. Because we both know, he has a mind of his own and he’s going to do what he pleases.”

“But if something happened to him… I couldn’t...” Dean looked away, trying to hide his face. “He’s fucking _human_ now, and it’s my damn fault!” Dean turned back around, only to see Cas walking up the stairs, a half-awake look etched on his face.

“Don’t I get a say in the matter? I mean, it is my life you two are debating about.” Cas stated matter-of-factly.

“Cas, I-”

“I’m going on the hunt, Dean.” Cas stared at Dean, his intent looming in his eyes. “I have to learn eventually, especially if I am to survive on this world…”

Dean sighs and walks over to the helmet after putting the bike on the kick stand. Picking it up, he rubs the dirt off of it, running his hands over its once smooth surface. Scratches and dents now mar it, which only forces Dean to quell the urge to chuck it again. Slamming it back on his head, he jumps on the bike, kick starting it, and rolls down the road again, heading back to the bunker.

When he gets back, the Impala is parked out front of the bunker with Sam bent over the trunk checking various weapons. There are a couple of bags lying on the ground beside him, and Dean recognizes both his and Sam’s duffels. Parking the bike, Dean walks over to Sam, again removing the helmet.

“Hey, everything checking out?” Dean asks, walking up to the car.

Sam eyes the helmet, asking a silent question as his looks at the dents and scratches.

“I’m fine. Always have had that shoddy temper though.” Dean looks at the bags again, realizing that there are only two sitting on the ground. “Cas not going?” he asks carefully.

Sam gives him a frustrated sigh before slamming the inner lid. “If you want to talk about that, you need to go ask him yourself.” Sam says before heading back inside the Bunker.

Dean bites his cheek, keeping himself from hurling insults that would go unheard anyways. He rolls the bike down to the hidden drive back to the garages before getting up the courage to head back inside.

Cas is standing in the kitchen when Dean finally finds him, stirring whatever is in the mug that is in front of him on the counter. The smell of different herbs mixed together fills the room as Dean walks closer to the tired looking man.

“Can we talk?” He mumbles.

Cas continues to stir his tea and Dean wonders if he has even heard him. “Cas?” He asks, slightly louder.

“Heard you the first time. Trying to figure out if I really want to.” Cas says, finally setting the spoon on the counter next to the mug. He picks up the black mug, raising it to take a sip. Turning to Dean, he catches his eye and Dean feels his breath hitch, heart aching at the look reflecting back. “Are you going to undermine me again, make me look like a _child_ , or can we actually talk this time.”

“I, uh…” Dean runs a hand through his hair and grabs the back of his neck. “I didn’t handle that so well, I’m sorry,” Cas snorts but says nothing, waiting for him to continue. “I’m just…worried, alright? All those years you spent protecting me… I feel like it’s my turn to watch out for you now, and I’m just…”

“Scared?” Cas suggests when Dean trails off. He watches Dean’s face, knowing the hunter is only concerned for his safety, but this time, Cas doesn’t plan on backing down. He needs to do _something_ with his life, and he misses the outdoors…

Dean looks back at Cas, and slowly comes to terms with the fact that he isn’t going to be able to keep Cas hidden away forever. Even if he did let him stay back, who’s to say he would actually _stay_?

Reaching out, Dean grabs Cas’s hand and holds it softly in his own. He runs the pad of his thumb over Cas’s knuckles, trying to calm his own fear over what he’s about to say.

“Well,” He finally says, voice quiet in the large room. “If you’re going to come with us, guess we better find you a gun that suits you, huh?” He raises his eyes and gets caught in a sea of blue. At first, the waves are made of confusion as Cas processes the words Dean has just uttered, but they slowly turn to excitement as it hits him.

“Yea?” he says, gauging Dean. “Sounds like a plan. Always needed more practice with that anyways, especially after using a blade for so long…” A smile tugs on his lips as he waits for Dean to do… anything.

Dean smiles back, fear and trepidation mixing with the excitement of being able to t rain Cas flowing through his veins. “Guess we better hurry then, and get you packed as well. Don’t want Sam to leave without us, do we?”

Cas’s smile grows broader, reaching his eyes in a way Dean hasn’t seen in a long time. He feels his own face breaking out into a grin, pushing away some of the fear he knows he’s just going to have to learn to fight through. Grabbing Cas’s mug of now cold tea, he sets it on the counter and pulls the man along by their still connected hands.

It takes them an hour and a half – only sped up by Sam’s tapping foot – to finally pick out a gun for Cas. The fact that it’s color matches his angel blade and the blue in the hilt not going unnoticed by Dean. In no time, the three of them are on the road, the promise of an exciting hunt ahead of them.


End file.
